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I’m pretty sure that if Jesus is around right now, he’s slumped over… - Alex Winter writing for The Down Market Guru [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
downmarketguru

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[Jul. 26th, 2006|07:45 pm]
downmarketguru
I’m pretty sure that if Jesus is around right now, he’s slumped over a bar sucking down shot after shot of whiskey, glaring bleary eyed at a flickering television set in a corner. The television is rife with death and laser guided bombs and rockets annihilating residential buildings and dazed, bloody civilians wandering through the rubble screaming “God why? Why God why us, why my mother, my father, my sister, my brother, my wife, my husband, my little dog who never hurt anyone in their lives, why now?”

And Jesus is poised to hurl his whiskey glass through the flickering television to make it cease its infernal jabbering before he thinks better of it and sits back down to order another shot.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesus5.jpg

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesus6.jpg
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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-27 12:08 am (UTC)
Merci! I always appreciate when you stop by and say hello, it temporarily warms my glacier cold heart. Hope you dug the latest posts, I'm still trying to fiddle with the scanner to clean these up but it's so damn hard to get the blood and resin stains out.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-27 12:47 am (UTC)
Yeah!! Like a cross between Evil Voltron and Zoltar (or Berg Katse as some know him) from Battle of the Planets (or Gatchaman, whichever) with juuuuuuuuuust a hint of Invader Zim to him. He'd make an excellent candidate for the 2008 elections.

Glad you enjoyed Bitter Jesus!
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-27 12:03 am (UTC)
Couldn't help but glance down at my New Year's Eve resolutions after posting today. I am happy to say that I've accomplished 1, 2, 4 (well, sorta), 6 , 7, 8 (when I can remember but I'd say 70% of most days), 9 (thus far) and 10 with reductions of at least 70 % and increases of 140% (respectively) year to date.

Fuckin' A!
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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-07-27 05:00 pm (UTC)
oh.holy.fuck. Alex, it just keeps on getting more sick and twisted, yeah? I fucking love it and your brilliant filthy mind. This was exactly what my hungover, sad self needed this morning. Fucking brilliant.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-07-28 11:55 am (UTC)
Excellent! I'm glad I could help a friend overcome a hangover without the use of copious amounts of THC. I always feel like it's kind of a waste when you're hungover. But I'm glad you keep checking out the sick and twisted adventures of Bitter Jesus. The Cycle of Pain is just about finishing up, then I'll be introducing the other characters in Mr. Christ's life. I think you'll dig it!
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-28 11:57 am (UTC)
Whoops - still half asleep, forgot to login!
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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-07-28 06:03 pm (UTC)
I say bring it on! I'm sure whatever you do with other characters will continue in the vein of brilliant depravity. And, yeah, don't waste THC on a hangover is my opinion. Great minds and all that rot.
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[User Picture]From: tipgardner
2006-07-27 07:07 pm (UTC)
You certainly don't need me, of all the blokes you know, to comment on your dementia, but I must say that you've outdone yourself here. Good on you, Alex.

I'm supposed to head back to the States...maybe this weekend. You around if I can get in Sat morning?
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-28 12:01 pm (UTC)
You want to start drinking Saturday morning? I thought the World Cup was over but yeah, I'm game! You flying into LaGuardia or JFK? We'll get a car service to ship you right over to Spring Street Lounge, they're open early on Saturday and make lethal bloodies, just the thing for jet lag.
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From: jj1108
2006-07-28 02:57 am (UTC)
Here vis Inspiredlife and Tip. These are insane. Such hatred and loathing. It's wonderful.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-28 11:58 am (UTC)
Thanks to Tip and Inspiredlife for helping to spread the gospel and thank YOU for taking the time to check this out! Hope you're back for the next post!
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