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JC we hardly knew ye! - Alex Winter writing for The Down Market Guru [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
downmarketguru

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JC we hardly knew ye! [May. 31st, 2006|09:34 pm]
downmarketguru
I don't know if you believe all that crap in the Bible about Jesus always being a peaceloving savior who preached tolerance, healed the sick and sacrificed himself for the sake of us miserable losers. Jesus didn't fuck around. Take for example the time he freaked out and went totally berzerk on the money changers in the temple. Motherfucker whooped so much God damn ass he had THREE of his disciples write about it (Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15, John 2:8 for real yo)!

Can you imagine how unbelievably pissed off Jesus would be if he saw the shit going down today? Maybe when he arrived on Earth he'd take a good look around and just call off Judgement Day. Maybe he'd say "fuck this, fuck humanity, fuck the Heavenly Host and fuck Satan, I'm sick and tired of this shit. I'm a man, I have needs, I'm all powerful and immortal and I'm gonna have me a good time before the whole shithouse goes up in flames..."

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesus3.jpg

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesus4.jpg

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesustalkingdoll.jpg

P.S. If my flight to Boston crashes next week I'll know that unfortunately God does not have a sense of humor.
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Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2006-06-01 03:22 am (UTC)
God has a sense of humor. Look at the platypus.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-06-02 12:00 am (UTC)
An excellent point O Masked Stranger. The platypus and psychedelic mushrooms are proof positive...
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[User Picture]From: tipgardner
2006-06-01 11:11 am (UTC)
Nice, Alex...Nice...You are a truly sick individual. One imagines that you and the Deity have a lot in common. ;P
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-06-01 11:57 pm (UTC)
My brotha!
You back from Banglore / Reykjavik / Hong Kong / Paris / Rome / London / Milan / Berlin / Montreal / Johannesburg yet? Shit we gotta get together for those pints soon, it's already disgustingly hot and sticky in NYC. Hope your passport didn't get confiscated again!
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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-06-01 04:23 pm (UTC)
Fuck, Alex, I can't even come up with a decent comment for this. Sick, bitter and twisted goodness.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-06-01 11:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the kind words inspiredlife. You inspire me to write / draw more adventures of everyone's favorite insane avatar of Jehovah!

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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-06-03 05:46 am (UTC)
Well, glad to be of service. Of course, i'm the one who's going to benefit here. btw, hope you don't mind the familiarity. Tip's mentioned you few times.

Also, the Acela is overrated. If I can survive the flight from Boston to Manhattan on a regular basis I'm sure you'll be just fine.
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From: mereol
2006-06-01 06:15 pm (UTC)
God does indeed have a sense of humor. No one crashes going INTO Boston; it's only when they're trying to get out.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-06-01 11:53 pm (UTC)
Well shit, guess I'm taking the Acela back to Manhattan...
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From: mereol
2006-06-02 12:20 am (UTC)
!!!
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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-06-23 01:36 pm (UTC)
So, there's been some debate between the Tipster and I about whether today is in fact your birthday or if you've just picked an arbitrary date to put up on your LJ. Tip said something about you being an Autumnal equinox sort.

All this to say...Happy maybe birthday! I'd offer to take you for a celebratory drink at Schillers but I'm not sure the bartenders would appreciate it. Have a great one and try not to get arrested, yeah? And even if it's not your birthday, happy Friday! ;D
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-07-05 10:56 pm (UTC)
A belated thank you for your birthday wishes! I chose 6/23 because I am a dedicated Discordian despite the fact that my chaos-loving brethern decry my sometimes violent ways. The number 23 is significant to Discordians (and the world at large) in many ways, such as 23 chromosomes in the human DNA, 23 skidoo, 23 apples for Eris, the 23rd hexagram of the I Ching, December 23 2012 (of the Mayan calendar), 23 was my hockey jersey number from grammar school all the way through college, 23 Grand Masters in the Knights Templar, etc. I could go on but I'm not sure you have the proper clearance. In any event, 6/23 is probably one of the purest dates for the Enigma 23 principal (2*3 = 6 / 23). And there you have it!

P.S. no recent arrests, just a few court dates to attend, hence my lack of posting. But don't worry, I'll get back in the saddle as soon as I'm exonerated by the wheels of justice!
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[User Picture]From: inspiredlife
2006-07-05 11:07 pm (UTC)
I was starting to worry that you had, in fact, been arrested. Good luck with being exonerated by the wheels of justice. That's a decent ambition.

Damn, so Tip was right. Thanks for that informative discourse of the number 23. 'Twas rather interesting even if I don't have the right clearance.
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