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I'm about to have a reenactment of Red Dawn in my office - Alex Winter writing for The Down Market Guru [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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I'm about to have a reenactment of Red Dawn in my office [Mar. 28th, 2006|07:07 pm]
downmarketguru
So we've got this new fucking Russian guy named Michael Kueller in my office (goes by the nickname of Mitch) who is supposed to be our QA lead. He speaks broken English like a retarded 4 year old and apparently has no sense of humor whatsoever (I guess years of having nothing to eat but shoe leather after the collapse of communism will do that to a guy). Anyway we've all been working our asses off testing this new code and we've found 2000 bugs (ouch). We have this system we log all the bugs into and I noticed this new Russian guy logged ticket # 2000 in our bug tracking system. So I write an email to the team:

Congrats to "Mitch" Kueller for landing lucky ticket #2000.

Just to lighten things up because we're all working hard / late hours. And this vodka-for-breakfast sucking assface writes back:

Alex I will appreciate you will use my first name not my Internet nick in business e-mails.

then cc's the whole world on it.

As far as I'm concerned, that is the office equivalent of Russian forces dropping out of the sky and shooting the shit out of my history teacher. When I kill this douchebag and restore democracy to the free world I'm spray painting "Wolverines" on his bloated corpse before I kick it out the 9th floor window.

P.S: Don't tell me I'm fucking overreacting.

P.P.S: Yes I know its been awhile and this post is just an email I sent out to my friends (believe it or not I do have friends, most of whom owe me money for dope). But I am working on getting my shit together and getting a few funny pictures up on this site as well as new material. In the mean time, if you want to know which member of the Wolverines resistance you'd be, take the following quiz:

http://quizilla.com/users/TheGreyGhost/quizzes/Which%20Red%20Dawn%20Character%20Are%20You%3F/

(I am Robert the Exterminator - go figure. For those of you who have never seen the 1983 first PG-13 rated all American cold war classic Red Dawn starring Charlie Sheen, Patrick Swayze, C Thomas Howell amd Lea Thompson, go pick this DVD up pronto, you truly don't know what great filmmaking is!)
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: osita2000
2006-03-29 02:41 am (UTC)
good to see you posting.
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[User Picture]From: osita2000
2006-03-29 02:47 am (UTC)
I'm Robert the Executioner
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-03-29 12:21 pm (UTC)
I modified a few answers and came up with Charlie Sheen's character a second time. Still trying for Patrick Swayze or my favorite, Col. Robert Taylor.

"Shoot straight for once ya Army pukes!"
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-03-29 12:20 pm (UTC)
Danke! Thanks for reading. Life has me racing around in circles these days but I'm hoping next month I'll have more time to really build this LJ site out. I miss it.
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From: mereol
2006-03-29 07:18 pm (UTC)
*icon love*
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[User Picture]From: osita2000
2006-03-29 07:39 pm (UTC)
Gracias!
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From: mereol
2006-03-29 07:18 pm (UTC)
I'm the Exterminator too.

That quiz reminded me of a Far Side cartoon. A farmer's got a horse with a bum leg and he's looking in the home veterinarian's guide to horse health care. Every viable option to fix horse is "Shoot".

That's total b.s. re Mitchypoo and his email power trip. It's also the reason that I believe the cc button to be THE SPAWN OF SATAN. And the bcc button: its succubus.

Seriously, what the fuck was to be gained by ccing god and country (or, in his case, the Fatherland)? NOTHING BUT A LITTLE POWER TRIP THAT I HOPE HE PACKED TOILET PAPER FOR BECAUSE HE'S FULL OF SHIT.

God, I love going into a CAPSLOCK FIT OF RAGE over someone else's issue. At least you know that everyone who read his email thought he was being a pompous idiot too. Nothing like ripping someone's ego to shreds, eh?

Good to see you posting again. I so enjoy your posts.
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[User Picture]From: downmarketguru
2006-03-30 01:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you, as always your comments are spot on!

Yeah that was a little fucking power trip. And you're right, it backfired. He made himself look like a pompous douchebag and he's been at the firm about a month. He's gonna have a fun time coming up to speed in a very complicated technical environment with so few friends willing to help him out. I will of course keep it nice and civil with Mitchypoo while plotting my vicious revenge. Any non-lethal ideas would be appreciated!
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